Saturday, July 28, 2012

•half-assed, remember?•

(I've been sweating over posts and the lack thereof. Given our blog title, it's a wonder it took me this long to come around. Just write, dumbass.)

We're not all built the same. Yet we're so much more alike, we humans, than we are different. Is everyone destined to pine? I have a piney history. I'm not particularly piney at the moment, having just affirmed that I live where I want to live, and love the family I've been given. And manifested the job, literally of my dreams. (Still reeling from that turn of events.) But I tend to pine. I'm good at it.

I am happy. I am even working on the illusion that I'm ready. For change, which is possibly more inevitable (and less comfortable, in some instances) than death. But I have that tendency to pine. Even in the middle of my big pile of joy, I yearn. And it's not unpleasant, either. I've ALWAYS been this way. Pining is a core trajectory of my personality.

Or maybe it's not. Could it actually be something else? Not yearning, or ambition... could it be hope? For more? I am hopeful, rather than pineful? I certainly prefer that spin. My superstition is creeping around the edges of the screen, whispering things like "dangerous," and "greeeeeeed." I guess that's true, as well. My heart is a greedy thing, and my eyes, wide enough to swallow everything.  xox

And now, a propos of nothing, a soft egg from a complimentary hotel breakfast in Trondheim.


  1. I love you, my piney, hopeful, wide-eyed, dreamy friend. Not greedy--I think maybe it's a little sad to want less than everything. It should be balanced by knowing you probably can't have *everything*--but maybe if we dream big enough and deep enough, we get the things we *most* want. And I think those are usually the things we most need anyway, those deeply dreamy piney things. (Also, way to set the reset button on the half-assed bloggifying--I'll maybe try to follow your excellent example very soon.)xoxoxo

  2. Wait! Do you get to LIVE in Norway! That is so awesome :)
    Isn't pining universal? I sincerely hope so, since I, too, am a piner. I think I have figured out, a little bit, how to welcome my piney-ness and sit with it for awhile and think about whether I can take a little action in making something happen that I seem to want to happen and, if not, give it a hug and find something that fills my senses in a different way. I miss you, and am glad to find you here. xo

  3. Thanks, Gretel. No, we just visited Norway in June and July. I haven't posted properly about it yet, but perhaps will! I miss you too. At least we are cyber-gathering. xox