We're not all built the same. Yet we're so much more alike, we humans, than we are different. Is everyone destined to pine? I have a piney history. I'm not particularly piney at the moment, having just affirmed that I live where I want to live, and love the family I've been given. And manifested the job, literally of my dreams. (Still reeling from that turn of events.) But I tend to pine. I'm good at it.
I am happy. I am even working on the illusion that I'm ready. For change, which is possibly more inevitable (and less comfortable, in some instances) than death. But I have that tendency to pine. Even in the middle of my big pile of joy, I yearn. And it's not unpleasant, either. I've ALWAYS been this way. Pining is a core trajectory of my personality.
Or maybe it's not. Could it actually be something else? Not yearning, or ambition... could it be hope? For more? I am hopeful, rather than pineful? I certainly prefer that spin. My superstition is creeping around the edges of the screen, whispering things like "dangerous," and "greeeeeeed." I guess that's true, as well. My heart is a greedy thing, and my eyes, wide enough to swallow everything. xox
And now, a propos of nothing, a soft egg from a complimentary hotel breakfast in Trondheim.
I love you, my piney, hopeful, wide-eyed, dreamy friend. Not greedy--I think maybe it's a little sad to want less than everything. It should be balanced by knowing you probably can't have *everything*--but maybe if we dream big enough and deep enough, we get the things we *most* want. And I think those are usually the things we most need anyway, those deeply dreamy piney things. (Also, way to set the reset button on the half-assed bloggifying--I'll maybe try to follow your excellent example very soon.)xoxoxo
ReplyDeleteWait! Do you get to LIVE in Norway! That is so awesome :)
ReplyDeleteIsn't pining universal? I sincerely hope so, since I, too, am a piner. I think I have figured out, a little bit, how to welcome my piney-ness and sit with it for awhile and think about whether I can take a little action in making something happen that I seem to want to happen and, if not, give it a hug and find something that fills my senses in a different way. I miss you, and am glad to find you here. xo
Thanks, Gretel. No, we just visited Norway in June and July. I haven't posted properly about it yet, but perhaps will! I miss you too. At least we are cyber-gathering. xox
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