Monday, June 4, 2012

Note to Self II

All those things you're holding onto, all those things you love? 

Sometimes, when you ask the universe for something more, something bigger, the thing you'll get back will be such a large possibility, so much more than you'd imagined you were asking for, that you'll need to put down all the things you're holding in order even to attempt to pick up this new gift. 

If you manage to pick it up, the new gift will wreck some very good ideas, some very beautiful plans, at least for now. And even trying to pick it up will require the willingness to walk away from something so precious your heart will break at the very possibility. 

Remember that holding onto the precious thing requires making a choice that will keep you stunted. Remembering that won't keep your heart from breaking, but it might save you from making the small choice.

13 comments:

  1. Wow, yeah.
    A's M.

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  2. Work it, and more comes out.
    As commented on my new favorite blog, My 10,000 Things:

    "Heaven and Earth are ruthless;
    To them the Ten Thousand Things are but as straw dogs.
    The Sage too is ruthless;
    To him the people are but as straw dogs.
    Yet Heaven and Earth and all that lies between
    Is like a bellows
    In that it is empty, but gives a supply that never fails.
    Work it, and more comes out.
    Whereas the force of words is soon spent.
    Far better is it to keep what is in the heart.

    Tao Te Ching, Chapter V (trans. Arthur Whaley)"

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  3. "at least for now". I've often found that the things I love, if I must let go of them it is a temporary parting ... that I can have everything, just not all at the same time. Whatever this "large possibility, so much more than you'd imagined you were asking for" is, it sounds like it is worth it. Breathe, all is good (as I like to tell myself). And if this is a "congratulations" type of change, then I am wishing that to you!

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    1. It *is* worth it--though I don't know that I'll get back the thing I had to let go. But I couldn't hold on and grow bigger, so there it is. Turns out, I'm not cut out for the bonsai life. ;-)

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  4. A heart never really breaks, but yes, it can be squashed. And I agree with Jessica, the good things are usually waiting for when you are ready to pick them up again. I hope it all works out!

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    1. Thanks, Sigrid! I think a heart can break, but that's certainly not to say it remains eternally broken. And maybe the healed spots are the most important/beautiful/interesting/strong. And indeed, it's all working out--actually better than it would ever have occurred to me to dream about.

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  5. Wow,amy.catching up on your blog and this post has me floored. amazing. and such perfect timing for me right now.but would not have been had I read it when it was posted..thank you! Thinking of you.

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    1. Thank you, sweetheart--I'm so glad it was resonant for you. It's hard work, this work of taking up the deeper things we need, but it's worth it; I have no question or hesitation about that. Believe me, you've been firmly in my thoughts as well. Much love to you. xoxo

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  6. holly read this to me, out loud in person. and i, too, am floored. thank you....

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    1. Oh, thank you Val--and welcome to our half-assed home! ;-) So glad to see that Holly has been with you this week. xoxo

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    2. OMGomg, Val's at our blog! Everyone, get thee to a word+picturey right now, if you aren't already there... http://wordpluspicture.blogspot.com/

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  7. Haha. Lis, you are so funny! We are in the process of resuming our regularly scheduled blog. I really enjoyed hearing Holly talk about your lovely community in Davis. And I'm so glad she pointed me to your blog....

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